Weird things you didn’t know about Gambian senior schools

Weird things you didn’t know about Gambian senior schools

US-based Gambian author, Saikou Camara says Nusrat is a breeding ground for Taliban terrorists, Armitage a concentration camp for kids who are hated by their parents and abused by villagers; Saints a Las Vegas club of promiscuous thugs, potheads, gamblers and petty thieves.

He also writes that Ndow’s produced the first batch of scumbags and deuce bags of our nation, while saying Muslim High are more confused than lesbians; Gambia High is an embarrassment for every Gambian and a hangout spot for school dropouts.

He then described Marina as a school for Negro Slaves wanting to be like Europeans and accuses Method Academy of being Pioneers in student-teacher dating. Read the rest here:

Disclaimer: The provoking statements made in this article are only for fun in the spirit of high school rivalry. None of the content should be taken seriously.

Where do I start…Hmmmm!

Saints

 St Augustine can be dated back to 1857 on Hagan St, Banjul. Saints was pioneered by 10 young Gambian boys who embarked on a technical training program. After overcoming many obstacles, they became a form of British colonial school in 1886, what many considered a colonial Government school. They bred the nation’s first flag bearers and crusaders, the pride of our nation, the only hope of emancipation.

They transformed boys into men. I called the Saint experience “Project Manhood”. But then something happened, they lost their focus and turned into a Las Vegas casino club, they concentrated vividly on chasing after Gambia High School “chepehs” (girls), gambling, and winning trophies during Inter-schools’ competitions, rather than continuing the legacy of the then Gambian boys.

They switched from being an academy of learning into a Rap music school; it’s no coincidence that 90% of Gambia’s Rappers all graduated from Saints. They shamelessly fell from Grace with their baggy pants and oversize uniforms. They called it swag the rest of the country see them as wannabes almost became, but never did. Saints single-handedly destroyed the Gambian dream. Thanks to Father Murphy and his thugs he called students; all our young men today are potheads, gamblers, petty thieves, he-goats running after she-goats, and rappers.

Gambia High School

Founded on Dobson St. Banjul, in 1876 by the Wesleyan Mission which transformed into Boys High School and Girls High School respectively and they merged together in 1959. This school was founded on strong Christian principles and they helped delivered Bathurst into Banjul…led the nation to march on its first independence parade with blood, sweat, tears, and knowledge. The simple fact that they had Gambia in their honourable name alone and the first president of the Gambia graduating from GHS says it all. But just like the way the colonial masters took everything good they brought with them and found in the Gambia back to England after independence, they equally took every blessing GHS once had back with them.

The story of GHS is an embarrassment for every Gambian; we should all demand that they drop the name GAMBIA from their school name. GHS is now a hangout spot for school dropouts. I had friends who attended GHS for 3 years and they never enrolled in the school. Matter of fact, I heard that you do not even need to enrol into the school, all you need is a school uniform and you are a GHS student. They are too busy trying to stop Saints thugs from running after their women. From independence to date, they undo every good deed their ancestors accomplished. Don’t get me wrong, they will still give us timely distinctive excellent results accompanied by 98% failing results. They have one good science class (which is 2% of the school population), that every GHS student will brag about. They usually recruit few top students across the country and put them all in one science class, and the rest of the school are a bunch of F’s put together, Free Flight From France to Freetown, and back to Farafeni…. F,F,F’s lol. They didn’t just fell from grace, they jumped from Grace.

Armitage High School

 Surrounded by the river belts of the Motherland herself, enriched by the unfortunate history associated with its mainland. The land of captive slaves, born the nation only and most noble High School in its history, a boarding school was open in 1927. They had the blessing of the father of the Nation, Sir Farimang Singhateh, the first Gambian the queen knighted. They symbolized hope and self-respect, self-rule and freedom, hard work and discipline, and the road to self-governance. At least that was the plan, and this is exactly why you should not allow villagers to take control over city people… instead of inspiring and motivating the Nation children into leaders, they abused them with boot camp techniques. They lost the values of a boarding school and ascend the values of military-style torture camps. They are the equivalent of present-day Gautama Bay.

The school is named after the most Tyrant colonial governor in West Africa, Cicil Armitage. They raped our national treasures of their innocence and turn them into a bunch of negative paramilitary officers. Yes, you are first hearing it from me here…Thanks to Armitage for the paramilitary…and small/minor blame will also go to Banjul Academy, L.K, and B.S. We should no longer call Armitage a school, for it is worse than the Janjanburreh Prison, Armitage is a concentration camp for kids who are hated by their parents.

Muslim High School

Before 1975, Islamic studies were not in the curriculum of 98% of schools in Jollof, I want to say 100% but Armitage and GSH students will argue otherwise. English schools were only teaching biblical studies and other Whiteman educational materials.

Muslim fundamentalists in the Gambia were restricted to only Dara (Islamic Studies), they refused to acculturate the Toutab devilish teachings. But thanks to this culturally responsible institution many of us Muslim children have a chance to western education while still mastering the Quran (win win if you ask me).

Parents denounced the thoughts of sending their kids to schools with Christian names or bear the cross on their badges, but Muslim paved the way. 1975 began the transition of Muslim kids from stupidity to becoming educated, western education that is.. All English learning Muslim students owed it to Muslim High. One problem though, this is a school that refuses to grow since 1975. In fact, I think they retrogressed couple of more decades back. FYI it is still the Harvard of the Brikama and Sukuta masses because the Kombo and Banjul kids have moved passed this stone age school. They are more confused than lesbians; they can’t make up their minds if they want to be a “Dara” or a real proper School. Today they symbolize a civilized Talinding Madarasa version…I will send my kids to Sheikh Maskah before I send them to this ancient ideologist institution.

ICE

 Ice Ice Ice… Thanks to former Principal of GHS Mr. Jagne and his political connections for ICE, Institute for Continuing Education, aka a Chance for redemption. Has there ever being a school with a better and noble intention than the ICE initiative since the creation of correctional facilities to allow convicts to rehabilitate themselves? I think not. This was the ICE thesis “to allow students who are academically or attitudinally challenged in other schools to redeem themselves, in short a second chance”. But we all know that good intentions do not automatically transpire into good deeds.

ICE is the first high school to honor its students their rights…they have the right to come to school when they want and leave when they want, the right to skin bleach, the right to fight and beat their teachers, the right to teenage pregnancy, the right to do drugs, the right to do anything to deprive themselves a chance to succeed in life. Thanks to ICE all other schools failed in disciplining their pupils, when you get expelled/Suspended/whatsoever from other schools you can always come to ICE. In western countries they are called juvenile facilities/institutes for acting out/misbehave kids. This school needs to be investigated for all the murder cases and prostitution-related crimes in the country.

Nusrat High School

The dream of every Gambian Imam and Oustass, a remarkable institution that instills moral and ethical norms (Islam) into the spirit, heart, and mind of the young Gambians while still cultivating their minds with western education (the devil). Call them hypocrites, I said have your cake and eat it too. Where will the Gambia be today without the Hamadiya invasion, the school with the best accounting/cost accounting geniuses in the Gambia, the school that first introduced statistics in Gambia educational curriculum in 1971…where will we be without them? I have giant respect for their conviction and commitment to their religious and cultural beliefs, most importantly their debits/credits. Hands down the most hardworking students in the Gambia.

The smartest students go to Methodist Academy but the hardest working students go to Nusrat. Here is the catch you have been waiting for; they have a secret agenda that only those with ears/eyes can see through. They are a breeding ground for the Taliban and the Pakistani movement. They are smooth criminals with three-quarter pants and long beards. Now you know why America said the war on Terror is not yet over. Am not calling the marrkass anything deh…all I am saying is that they look suspicious. It’s almost automatic, you go to Nusrat you become a marrkass, which make me question if they are still teaching the accountings and debit/credits to their students. From inside sources, all the teachers are under-cover Taliban agents and they are planning a secret mission to change the laws of the land into a Sharia Law…I didn’t say it, that’s what I heard.

Marina International

The Cambridge of the Gambia not per academic excellence thus social status and class. They are the bourgeoises of our country. The only true international school of the Gambia and bait for tourist attraction and daycare for foreign diplomats’ children. Founded in 1950 by “you know whom”, the traitors of our democracy, the allies of the colonial masters, they are the people Malcolm X will refer to as “house slaves/negroes”. As you can tell am not a fan of this school, but I have to do them justice even though there is nothing justifiable about them. Truth be told they were the best school in the Gambia for a long extended period. Their pupils are so smart they were taught with British curriculums. They drink English tea with American cookies in the morning. They were our only elite and potential so-called local breeds who can speak correct grammar and make correct pronunciations and rep the nation internationally.

They didn’t fell from grace, they were messed up from the get-go. They got worse as time goes on, they attempted to emulate a ghetto American lifestyle (in their defence which they thought was cool) which the American society denounce. They are so confused, these are African kids taught in a British curriculum who want to be American gangsters. Now they are just a bad version of the Apollo theatre in Harlem NY. Have you seen the movie Django Unchain? They will be the Uppity free slaves riding on horses while their fellow countrymen labouring for the colonial masters. I call them the Django’s of our land.

Ndows Comprehensive

They have no significant historical ties to the Gambia. They are just an army of middle-class citizens who felt that they are too blessed (too rich) to attend Saint or GHS and too humble (not rich enough) to attend Marina. They are just there, they just exist. In the midst of their lack of purpose and history couple with their lost in the wilderness, they found the first antidote to the Gambian educational system. They welcome Pan-Africanism by hiring well-trained teachers from neighbouring countries with meaningful college/Vocational training.

Ndow’s produced the first real, middle-class Gambians who know how to read, write, spell and speak ENGLISH. The nation owes them for enlightening us and making us believe that Marina pupils are just ordinary pupils like all of us. They produced the first badge of readymade potential college students. But no good deed goes unpunished, and mein did they punished us. They also produced the first badge of scumbags and deuces bags of our national history.

Now the school is just a mini Jamaica, a breeding ground for legitimate Gambian criminals with true criminal intents. They are just; hold on I think I am getting rub for my cellphone by this Ndows weed head smoking Alumni smh. They are jealous of Marina and always lie about how they hated Marina and choose Ndows over Marina. Look here Ndows pupils or ex-pupils, whatever you call yourselves, Marina is better than you…get over it. We all know if you could afford it you will all be in Marina.

Gambia Methodist Academy

The Nation was going through some drastic changes; some arm bandits had just taken over our government. Our educational system was in turmoil and a complete nightmare. We needed a hero/Shero to make the dream alive once again, to make us envision the vision we already lost, to restart our faiths we no longer possess. Then emerge the institution on a mission, the last airbender parse, the dream, the future, THE GAMBIA METHODIST ACADEMY AKA MISSION. My Alma Matta, the home of future Jada’s of our stars, was incorporated in 1995. A new nation, a new day with a new school, the future was once again optimistic. The quest to rewrite history began, dark lonely roads and broken dreams were once again brightened with the stream of the Mission. The School that single-handedly rescued a dying educational system, undo all the disgrace brought upon dear Gambia by its predecessors. An institution whose only Mission is to produce God-fearing and knowledgeable pupils. Conquer the WAEC examinations; earned the respect of Ghana, Nigeria, and Sierra Leone. They sacrifice foolishness to become role models, led by examples and avoiding the traps of becoming bad samples. GMA made intelligent and smart fashionable and cool as my little niece will tell me.

Unfortunately, this great institution on a Mission is met with unscrupulous forces. A remix of Saints and GHS was reborn in the name of a very graceful man Rev JC Faye. They don’t even earn the honour of my keyboard strokes, henceforth I, therefore, refuse to mention their name again in respect for the Honorable man they were named after. They should be banned, no scratch that, they should be demolished. This school invented teacher-student boyfriend-girlfriend thingy…I guess you can call them trendsetters. And I heard that in order to apply for admission, you do not need to send in your school results, applicants only send in paychecks and the highest bidders get enrollment. I can’t authenticate this, that’s what I was told by Radio Kang Kang. This school is responsible for corruption in the Gambia, they produced all the corrupt officials. That’s not all, there is a remix of Marina and Ndows collaboration, they called themselves WAIS, which I believe meant Waste African Idle Students. This is an institution with potential smart kids who are punished by their parents for not making it to GMA and forced to go to WAIS. I feel bad for them, they are not GMA, they are not Marina, Heck they are not even Ndows. They are right between Glory Baptist and Cates in the private school ranking…Ok, maybe slightly above those two schools but not very far away.

One last thing…if your school is not mentioned, you are a non-determining factor, y’ll don’t matter. I will also like to make an honourable mention for few schools that didn’t make the list…Bakoteh’s, St Peters, you know the chala chala schools rek. I hope I offended A LOT of people, bruised many egos because that’s my goal. That’s just how I feel today.***Kehkehkehkeh evil laugh***

 

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